The loss of erotic polarity during intimate bonding is one of the main complaints of couples entering therapy. I’ve found many men and women to be shocked at the idea that erotic polarity is a responsibility that can be consciously taken on and improved by knowledge of masculine/feminine aspects/essence, and the principles of masculine presence and feminine radiance.
Self-conscious is usually some version of feeling embarrassed in front of an invisible audience — an audience just waiting to find us ridiculous or unattractive. We dress for the invisible audience. We feel judged by the invisible audience. We feel humiliated in front of the invisible audience…you get the picture.
Sexism is a wicked problem–meaning it has many components and needs to be addressed from multiple directions. I believe the answers to sexism involve understanding others and ourselves more deeply and determining our responsibilities for solving the problems of sexism. In this process, our own destructive Shadow–our own sexism invisible to us–is the hardest to deal with.
I’ve found it useful to have chairs my clients and I can maneuver during the session, either on wheels or chairs you can easily slide. In my office, I have three armchairs on wheels, and other chairs I can bring in for family and group sessions. Each session then takes on a unique shape, depending upon how you and your clients position yourselves before and during the session.