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Happy yes: Part 1

In Love, Sex, and Relationships by Dr. Keith Witt

One great principle of happy relationships is to say “Yes” as much as possible. Couples who do this are happier, healthier, and have better sex. “Yes, I’ll remember to wipe …
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Post-Issue Relationships

In Love, Sex, and Relationships, Psychotherapy by Dr. Keith Witt

Post-issue relationships are the goal of all psychotherapiesIn a post-issue relationship, each problem is an opportunity to grow and love. A post-issue relationship still has problems, resentments, doubts, and selfish …
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Loving Completely – Integrating Science, Heart, and Spirit – a conversation with Neil Sattin

In Love, Sex, and Relationships, Psychotherapy by Dr. Keith Witt

Do you ever feel like there’s a barrier between what you know about how to have a good relationship, and what you actually do? How do you take what we know about the science of relationships, combine it with the wisdom of our hearts and our quest for deeper meaning, and integrate it into something practical?
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Explain and listen, don’t make excuses.

In General, Love, Sex, and Relationships by Dr. Keith Witt

Who is your closest relationship right now? Do you get along well all the time? Do you fight occasionally? To those who can’t think of a conflict, come on! You must have fought or been irritated at least once! Remember your last fight or disagreement. As you and he or she struggled, were you listening, explaining, making excuses, or attacking? Probably you were doing several of these.
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The Three Foundations of Marriage

In Love, Sex, and Relationships by Dr. Keith Witt

Marriage is a garden: a couple’s friendship, love affair, and repair of injuries nurtures the marital garden Have you ever had a garden? You love it, tend it, water it, and shape it like the work of art it is. When you do, your garden becomes beautiful and fruitful, delivering whatever you desire—beauty, pleasure, rest, nourishment, purpose—a complex living system to love and cherish. People invest more time and money in gardening than any other hobby in America.
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Integral psychotherapy is redefining psycho/spiritual/physical healing in the 21st century

In Love, Sex, and Relationships, Psychotherapy, Spirituality & Personal Growth by Dr. Keith Witt

Integral theory is a meta-theory that creates a scaffolding within which all other theories are organized. Integral psychotherapy is any therapy that takes into account a global understanding of the Kosmos. Objective/subjective, individual/collective, states of consciousness, lines of development, stages of development, spiritual/temporal, and types of individuals are core dimensions of Integral understanding. Any healing approach that practically utilizes these perspectives as cross-validating, mutually influencing forces is by definition Integral psychotherapy.

Relational Passwords [55]

In Love, Sex, and Relationships by Dr. Keith Witt

In the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey, director Stanley Kubrick had HAL the computer be an immature, petulant, super-powerful machine God who waged war on two poor astronauts who were …

Three minutes of Zen [54]

In Love, Sex, and Relationships by Dr. Keith Witt

Boomers will remember the song, Afternoon Delight, by the Starland Vocal Band. I particularly enjoyed that song because for decades afternoon was my yummiest time to make love. Is afternoon …

American Tantra [50]

In Love, Sex, and Relationships by Dr. Keith Witt

Eastern traditions have a long history of sexual/spiritual philosophies and practices, commonly referred to in the west as “Tantric.” Over the last century, many westerners have studied these approaches (often …

For Becky [46]

In Love, Sex, and Relationships by Dr. Keith Witt

Valentine memories I love to see you at a distance Walking, unmistakable, adorable I love to touch you in the morning Sleepy, vulnerable, infinitely desirable I love hearing our first …
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Be Aware of Defensive States – The Instant That Can Change Everything

In Love, Sex, and Relationships by Dr. Keith Witt

Our emotional, reactive, defensive selves are programmed into our brains to react to threat instantly. Our mature, conscious, socially intelligent selves are based in the prefrontal cortex behind our eyes, and it takes up to a second and a half for conscious attention to catch up to the rest of us in a critical situation. That second and a half is huge.
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10 Statements Guaranteed to Drive Guys Crazy

In Love, Sex, and Relationships by Dr. Keith Witt

Happy couples are interested in having as few checks as possible on their partner’s “I’ve had it!” lists. They figure out how to compromise and help each other gradually shrink their lists and cut way down on annoying behaviors over time. If you ask them how their marriage is doing, they’ll give you a variation of what I think is the ideal answer: “We’re not perfect, but we love each other and we’re both working at getting better at loving each other.”
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10 Statements Guaranteed to Drive Women Crazy

In Love, Sex, and Relationships by Dr. Keith Witt

Several years ago, I was working with a stay-at-home Mom named Cynthia. She had three small children and a hardworking husband named Jim who often arrived home tired and irritable. He’d waltz in, announce his presence, collapse on the couch in front of TV while Cynthia cooked dinner, served it, and gave the kids baths, stories, and put them down. When she asked Jim to help, he usually refused. “I’ve been working all day while all you’ve had to do is play with the kids,” he’d complain. Or, on the rare occasions when he roused himself from the couch to actually pitch in with homework, housework, or to play with the children, he’d make a big show of what a hands-on dad he was and how lucky Cynthia was to have him around. Being a particularly clueless kind of guy at this point, Jim had no idea that such whining was guaranteed to neutralize any pleasure his wife might feel from him lending a hand.
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Treating People Like Objects Is Always a Bad Idea – Here's Why

In Love, Sex, and Relationships by Dr. Keith Witt

Once Eric and Camille got the message about not treating each other like objects, it marked a real break-through in their marriage, because they’d finally become conscious of each other’s humanity when they were upset. They could be distressed yet simultaneously see the other person as a real human being with fears and hurts. Their love and compassion for each other deepened over the years, and I’m happy to say that the man who could so easily insult his wife and the woman who attacked my wall are now entering the fourth decade of a pretty darn good marriage.