Whatever mode of therapy you’re using, it’s beneficial to keep influencing clients to install missing capacities in their personalities and take responsibility for problems stemming from maladaptive personality traits. It’s always a good idea to help people be more flexible, adaptive, and appropriate. This is both especially difficult and crucially important with personality disorders.
In the 57 years I’ve been studying psychology there have been three schools of thought about where psycho/emotional/social suffering comes from—nurture, trauma, and nature.
Narcissism is characterized by self-absorption, self-centeredness, the objectification of others, and a constant hunger for attention and praise—narcissistic supply. People with pathological narcissism—seeing others as merely objects for gratification—can also hunger to enjoy the suffering of others. This is where narcissism sinks into psychopathy.
Narcissism is characterized by self-absorption, self-centeredness, the objectification of others, and a constant hunger for attention and praise—narcissistic supply. People with pathological narcissism—seeing others as merely objects for gratification—can also hunger to enjoy the suffering of others. This is where narcissism sinks into psychopathy.
An Integral understanding looks for deeper dynamics and practical approaches to identifying and addressing narcissism and gaslighting, and positions these problems as developmental challenges for everyone concerned—those dealing with narcissism as well as those suffering from narcissistic wounds.
Humans are ultrasocial, and most of our interactions fall into three categories, dependent, independent, and interdependent. Just like most everything else, there are healthy and unhealthy versions of each.
Trauma is an increasingly popular field in psychology, psychotherapy, and the world in general. Through countless studies in interpersonal neurobiology and social psychology, we now understand trauma more than ever before, and have many approaches to help resolve trauma into growth and development.
The challenge of therapy (and development) is to turn shame which trashes our worth and moral fiber, into regret which has more of “I wish I knew then what I know now, so I could have behaved better and caused less damage.”
In the HEXACO 6-factor personality system, the H factor reflects how humble/honest or arrogant/dishonest a person is. I find this fascinating, with a lot of potential ramifications for other types and world views.
It’s astonishing how many human miseries can be resolved through forgiveness and radical acceptance. Never forgiving is taking poison to punish someone else—the more you punish the sicker you get.
Blending the principles of martial arts with the practice of psychotherapy was central in my early development as a clinician, and I still find the material invaluable in my healing work.