Hello! Thanks for visiting my website!

My mission…my passion…is to help you love better.

Relationships determine our quality of life. Relationships do much better in harmony––harmony that most of us feel as love.

What creates healthy, satisfying love? For over a hundred years scientists, therapists, and teachers have explored every aspect of romance, passion, family dynamics, parenting and intimacy. I want to share this vast body of knowledge with you and show you how these insights fit together into a beautiful, graceful whole that can be successfully applied, in a very practical way, to the most important relationships in your life.

I’m a licensed clinical psychologist, lecturer and author dedicated to studying, teaching, and creating transformative healing systems. I’ve been practicing psychotherapy in Santa Barbara, California for over 40 years.

I decided to become a psychotherapist at the early age of 15, when I entered therapy myself and realized it was, in many ways, a natural language––a native tongue––to me. I knew immediately that I wanted to participate and contribute, not just as a client but also as therapist and teacher. I’ve been exploring and following that instinct ever since.

I was born in Hawaii, raised in suburban Los Angeles and have lived and worked in Santa Barbara since 1967. With that background, it’s only natural that I embraced the southern California lifestyle. I’ve been an enthusiastic surfer, a tennis player, and from 2000 to 2006 fronted the rock band, Blown Head Gasket. Along the way, I was also trained as a tap dancer. I have a black belt in Shotokan Karate and continue to study martial arts. These days I enjoy daily tai chi practice.

I met my wife Becky in 1973, and we’ve been together ever since. We have two grown children, Ethan and Zoe. We’re living proof that with insight and understanding – and a little bit of work – you can achieve lasting harmony in your most important relationships.

In the end…it’s all about love.

Background and Experience

I work with individuals, couples, and families, and provide clinical supervision. I lecture and lead workshops. I’ve conducted over 55,000 therapy sessions and hundreds of group sessions.

Education:

Bachelor of Arts in psychology with honors – University of California Santa Barbara, 1973;
Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology – UCSB Department of Education, 1975;
Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology – The Fielding Institute, 1982.
My dissertation, An Investigation of the Effectiveness of Talking Plus Touching in Enhancing Health, explored the relative health benefits of combining therapeutic touch with talking in psychotherapy sessions.

Teaching Experience:

I have been a professor at the Santa Barbara Graduate Institute, primarily exploring theories of conjoint and family therapy. I’ve also taught at the UCSB Health Center, Antioch University, the Fielding Institute, and Santa Barbara Adult Education.

Research, Writings and Lectures:

Books:

• Integral Mindfulness: from Clueless to Dialed-in
• Waking Up: Psychotherapy as Art, Spirituality and Science
• Sessions: All Therapy Involves Relationships Integrating toward Unity
• The Attuned Family: How to Be a Great Parent to Your Children and a Great Lover to Your Spouse
• The Gift of Shame: Why We Need Shame and How to Use It to Love and Grow
• In October 2010 I presented a talk entitled “100 Reasons to Not Have the Secret Affair: Educated Love in the 21st Century” at the TEDxAmericanRivera Conference in Santa Barbara (– I think you’ll find it a fun 18 minutes!). This lecture is the basis for my next book, soon-to-be-published under the same title.

Other topics I’ve written and lectured on include:

• Integral Sex Therapy
• Integral Erotic Polarity
• Integrally Informed Psychotherapy and Interpersonal Neurobiology: A Match Made in Heaven
• Why Integrally Informed Psychotherapy Is So Cool
• Using the Integral Operating System in Coaching
• Shame: The Misunderstood Emotion
• The Gift of Shame: How to Use Shame as a Resource and Guide in Psychotherapy
• Counseling Skills and Theories
• Up-level Your Natural Healing Style Study Group
• Enhance Your Natural Healing Style Using Perspectives, Techniques, and Art You Enjoy
• Couples Counseling
• Intimacy, Freedom, and Fear
• Attunement as an Organizing Principle in Health, Relationships, and Therapy
• American Tantra
• The upcoming Integral Age
• Dialed-in Marriage
• Dialed-in Parenting
• The Hero and Heroine’s Journey
• Narcissistic and Borderline Personality Disorders
• Evolutionary Relationships
• Love and Conscious Evolution
• Masculine and Feminine
• We all go crazy sometimes
• Habits
• How Spirituality permeates our lives
• Your Child’s Spiritual Growth
• Clueless to Dialed-in
• Humanists, Pragmatists, and Traditionalists
• Secrets of Happy Families