Consciously supporting the erotic polarity in your love affair means being alert to the intersections between what most lights up your partner (or what shuts them down) and cultivating what is mildly to majorly pleasurable for you to provide, while always working on reducing what shuts him or her down. Two partners alert to the erotic polarities of their relationship are always adjusting these forces to improve their erotic polarity–an especially crucial activity during the intimate bonding stage after romantic infatuation, when sexual urgency diminishes and our defensive patterns emerge more into the relationship.
The loss of erotic polarity during intimate bonding is one of the main complaints of couples entering therapy. I’ve found many men and women to be shocked at the idea that erotic polarity is a responsibility that can be consciously taken on and improved by knowledge of masculine/feminine aspects/essence, and the principles of masculine presence and feminine radiance. To those who understand Eastern practices and thought, I tell them, “Masculine and feminine practice, as well as erotic polarity, are yogas that we can and should include in our daily and weekly routines.”
One central masculine practice is presence–be relaxed, open, and attuned to your feminine partner, confident in your love for her.
One central feminine practice is love through the body–allow your pleasure at your guy being excellent in any way flow towards him from your heart like sunlight.