Finding A Way Through To Love | What Makes A Happy Marriage [AUDIO]
By Dr. Keith Witt
April 15, 2014
Integral Conversation on his regular The Shrink & The Pundit Podcast. The Audio is FREE for site members.MP3 – Download Here’s an excerpt from the show page for this episode of The Shrink & The Pundit; an Integral Conversation about relationships between Jeff Salzman and Dr. Keith Witt. For this episode of The Shrink & The Pundit, Jeff talks with Dr. Keith about intimate relationships, and what they look like through the eyes of an integral psychotherapist who isn’t afraid to go where angels fear to tread. Apparently we’re kind of clueless about intimate attachment in general. According to Dr. Keith we aggrandize romantic love, we’re afraid of sexual lust and we have no idea about long-term attachment. We mix them all up, basically. Ninety percent of the people and couples that come to Keith for help present with a problem in their marriage or primary partnership. That tells us a couple things. One, like many other mammals we’re drawn to pair bond. Most people who are allowed to get married, do. And two, it tells us that marriage is challenging and most of us need some help to learn how to do it well. So why aren’t we taught how to do it? Probably because your marriage is not your parent’s marriage. It’s not even the marriage that you had yesterday. As cultures change marriages must change with them, so a successful marriage fifty years ago is not the same as a successful marriage today. I’ve noticed that the marriages of my parents, my friends, and my friend’s children are all very different. Keith says when you get married you’re not just signing up for one marriage, you’re signing up for many marriages. It’s going to change from romantic infatuation to intimate bonding, to living together, to having children. It’ll change through family, through aging bodies and changing endocrine systems. Each one of those changes is associated with new structures of consciousness around how you hold yourself in the marriage, and how you hold your partner. What makes marriage so challenging is that the relationship needs to be successfully reorganized, consistently, by both people in order to keep working. Read More at The DailyEvolver.There is a way to love. If two people want to get there and they’re willing to take care of themselves and change, they can find a way through to love again and again and again. That’s really the bottom line. If you want to take it down to just one thing, the evolution of consciousness is just getting better and better at finding our way through to love. I recently joined my good friend Jeff Salzman for another
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