The dialectic is the heart of healthy relating. Two or more people, on purpose, open to influence, pursuing deeper truths collaboratively are engaging in the dialectic.

Radical acceptance is taking responsibility for everything you experience and do while being as fully present as possible. This is easy for fun stuff.

In this interview, we speak about the stage-based model for healing trauma as well as parts work, the Enneagram and the development of the Wise Self.

Authenticity, integrity, open-heartedness, and radical acceptance guide a man from Warrior to Man of Wisdom.

Integrally informed sex therapy blends naturally with other systems. Tom Habid just presented his five relational stages to our Soultank group and I’ve expanded his material to include erotic issues and capacities particularly relevant to each of Tom’s stages. 

Psychological splitting is shifting to a distressed state with a distorted story. We all do this daily…

Panic attacks can happen at stressful moments. They occur suddenly, peak in the first 10 minutes, and are usually gone in 30 minutes. If you do start having panic attacks, don’t panic!

In many social settings, the person with the deepest consciousness (the most compassionate understanding) has a special responsibility to help things go well. Deeper consciousness generates clearer vision and more mature moral clarity, which both guide us to contribute what we can. This requires courage!

All alcoholics are problem drinkers, but not all problem drinkers are alcoholics. I’m going to show you how I encourage people who report any kind of problem drinking to explore if they are able to moderate. If they can’t, they are usually alcoholics.

Within the scaffolding of an Integrally informed meta-psychotherapy, all theories/approaches self-organize into multidimensional living structures, always undulating, growing, and integrating through four quadrants.

Not surprisingly, the current political polarization has worked its way into psychotherapy and psychotherapy grad programs. As usual, there are healthy and unhealthy aspects to this trend.

There has been news recently of increasing depression in young people, and particularly anglo teen girls, whose rates have risen the most.

Self-attack is a common defense against change. Someone disgusted with a mistake or moral failing might feel intense anger or shame and lash inwards, as in “I’m such an idiot!”

Whatever mode of therapy you’re using, it’s beneficial to keep influencing clients to install missing capacities in their personalities and take responsibility for problems stemming from maladaptive personality traits. It’s always a good idea to help people be more flexible, adaptive, and appropriate. This is both especially difficult and crucially important with personality disorders.

An Integral understanding of personality disorders, and how they fit into the mass formation distortions that currently seem to be happening everywhere.

Joseph Campbell studied 114 cultures to find common mythic themes, and a central one was the Hero’s journey—how people are challenged, meet challenges, and are transformed by their struggles. We are on different Hero’s Journeys all the time.

Narcissism is characterized by self-absorption, self-centeredness, the objectification of others, and a constant hunger for attention and praise—narcissistic supply. People with pathological narcissism—seeing others as merely objects for gratification—can also hunger to enjoy the suffering of others. This is where narcissism sinks into psychopathy.

Narcissism is characterized by self-absorption, self-centeredness, the objectification of others, and a constant hunger for attention and praise—narcissistic supply. People with pathological narcissism—seeing others as merely objects for gratification—can also hunger to enjoy the suffering of others. This is where narcissism sinks into psychopathy.

An Integral understanding looks for deeper dynamics and practical approaches to identifying and addressing narcissism and gaslighting, and positions these problems as developmental challenges for everyone concerned—those dealing with narcissism as well as those suffering from narcissistic wounds.

How relevant is spirituality to normal development? According to a number of epidemiological findings and much neurobiological research, spirituality is of central importance to healthy development.

Excerpt: Have you ever been bored with your partner and think that the solution is him or her becoming sexier or more interesting?

We tend to respond better or worse—and be influenced more or less—by different sequences of social engagements. For example, first impressions stick, and the last interaction in a sequence more heavily defines the whole social encounter. 

The challenge of therapy (and development) is to turn shame which trashes our worth and moral fiber, into regret which has more of “I wish I knew then what I know now, so I could have behaved better and caused less damage.”

In the HEXACO 6-factor personality system, the H factor reflects how humble/honest or arrogant/dishonest a person is. I find this fascinating, with a lot of potential ramifications for other types and world views. 

It’s astonishing how many human miseries can be resolved through forgiveness and radical acceptance. Never forgiving is taking poison to punish someone else—the more you punish the sicker you get.